SpongeAlison Square Pants

I feel like a giant sponge today. Everything I encountered seems to stick to me and seep into my soul. Most of it has shaken me. I guess I take things too personally. It all started out this morning. People and things have rubbed me the wrong way all day. One thing that makes me sad is my living arrangements. I live with a roommate who is a male. We are not involved in anyway other than we share the same living space. I have a boyfriend whom I adore more than anything and he also has a girlfriend. I feel I am overly conscious when it comes to sharing space with someone else. I clean up after myself, pay my bills on time, and try to be friendly. I guess the thing that bothers me is that he and his girlfriend seem to want nothing to do with me. They walk in the door at night and don't say usually anything over 2 words to me. And I've racked my brain trying to think of things that I have done to offend them. I like to be close to people I come in close contact with and it's super hard to share such things with someone who doesn't want anything to do with you. It's a struggle I deal with on a daily basis. We share the same toilet, shower and even the same shampoo bottle but we can't share words. We share the same forks, plates and cups but we can't share a friendship. It makes me feel really bad when I come home to find out they are going out of town for the week and I feel wonderful about it. I feel guilty for taking joy in their departure. But at the same time, I feel my stomache drop as they leave and close the door without even saying a word goodbye to me. Even as they walk past me while I'm on the couch. Am I invisible? Or are they indifferent? I really really take this personally. It makes me wonder what the upcoming holidays will be like. Do I buy them gifts? Do I invite them to holiday functions? I'm totally lost on this subject. It's hard. Anyone have any advice? Our bedrooms are steps away from each other, but are also two different worlds inside. So close, but so far.